Saturday, June 11, 2005

The Cut

Apparently, I have been aiming way too low. For years, I dreamed of being a successful writer, with a little sidebar of being a rock star every now and then. I worked hard and as you know, I achieved my dream to much personal fulfillment. Last night Ben and I watched “The Cut,” the newest summer reality show, about aspiring designers competing for a prize to work for Tommy Hilfiger. At the beginning of the show, Hilfiger stood in front of the aspiring designers and basically told them it wasn’t enough to want to be a designer. That his dream had been to have a global lifestyle brand. Wait, that clearly needs caps. A Global Lifestyle Brand.
All this time, I should have been working toward a Global Lifestyle Brand. I hope it’s not too late, because now that I know what I should have wanted, I want it bad, I want to see my name not just on local billboards, not just on national billboards, but on Global billboards. I want to have a globally recognized logo. How have I gotten by without even a locally recognized logo? I feel so… less than local. I feel cheap and neighborhoody, like all this time I’ve been giving away my lifestyle for free. Thank god I know what to do now. I am sure that if I obtain a Global Lifestyle Brand, my world will be complete. It seems silly now to think that people are not sleeping on sheets with my logo, Globally. That all around the world, people cover their windows without my logo, that they eat off plates without my logo, shuffle around in slippers without my logo, do anything without my logo, really. Exist at all.
Ben said, “This is good stuff, right?”

I can’t finish this post without adding that Ben and I were at a standoff about whether Tommy Hilfiger is really a mummy or a vampire. If you watch the show, and you should, you will be with one or both of us on this.


Daniel Ridges said...

A student at the alternative school in Aurora where I used to teach called him Tommy No-Nigga because of the rumors that he had very few African American employees and that he held some very strong feelings about the people who should be wearing his clothing... Eh, but that was way back in the '90's. I am sure he's learned quite a bit from the jilted contestants of color from those other reality shows to make that mistake again.

And, yeah... I've always thought that there was something lycanthropic about Tommy H, myself.

B said...

Vampire, totally.

Elizabeth Crane said...

Wow, I didn't know any of that, Dan, but it's probably because my personal Global Lifestyle Brand leans more toward Martha Stewart meets Bjork in a parking lot with those twins from the Antiques Roadshow. You may not think that's possible, but I say otherwise.

Daniel Ridges said...

Oh my god! That's TOTALLY possible! Although I couldn't pull it off. Better you carry that burden than I, Betsy.

Elizabeth Crane said...

Ha! What can I say, some things come naturally to me.

Felicity Taint said...

When it comes to Global Lifestyle Brands, look no further than Felicity Taint. Dont EVEN get me started about that Timmy Stinkyfinger. Feh.

Mummy? Timmy Stinkyfingers cries out for his mummy with my shameless bits between his child like teeth. Felicity!! He cries, he begs, yet I keep him tied up in the back of my Felicity De Ville. Perhaps Felicity will let him go....Perhaps not.

Vampire? If lil' Timmy Stinkfinger has a single blood cell left, it is because Felicity was distracted for a moment by Vera Wang, and her weekly attention to Felicity's Brazil Waxing. Vera is alway so kind, and so thorough.

Teodoro Callate said...

Felicity, as always, hitting the ball all the way out of Felicity Field in Taint County of the National Oh My Goodness League.

Elizabeth Crane said...

I couldn't have said it better, Ted.

DAM said...

Didn't see the show, which is somewhat remarkable because I've been sucked in to way too many of these shows. (I Married A Princess. I dare anyone to fess up to viewing that one!)

The Tommy Hilfiger rumor is a myth. I'd post a link, but I'm not sure if blogs post links. I know one can type the name of something, which takes others to a site, but not sure about an actual address. I'm lucky I've figured out how to navigate the interntet!

As for Tommy's clothing and character. Never worn his clothes. Never seen an interview. Don't know anything about him. So why am I posting on this thread? Because my old computer died and this is my first blog entry on my new computer. Yes, I'm sharing my desktop virginity with all of you. It was good for me. Was it good for you?