So a while back, Ben went to Home Depot and got a free subscription to Stuff magazine, which has been coming for many months now and aside from the sexy sexerson girls on the cover, this magazine’s target audience remains a mystery to me. I’m sure Ben’s guess would be that they live in what he calls “jock housing” in Lincoln Park or Wrigleyville and drink beer at the Cubby Bear, but I’m not convinced that anyone reading this publication is that evolved. My guesses get stumped after “male”, because aside from the plethora of lingerie-bedecked young women throughout, the “cultural” aspects of it have me baffled. There are very few bits that are longer than fifty words (as much as this demographic can handle in one pass?) and they tend to be about celebrities or trends I’ve never heard of, with the exception of Lindsay Lohan, who they seem to admire, which should tell you a lot but which only confuses me more or makes me think the target reader is about fourteen and rides a BMX bike? But that can’t be, because there’s also a photo spread of Winnie Cooper in her panties, and I don’t think that’s the right generation to want to see Winnie Cooper in her panties, plus, Winnie Cooper should not ever be thought of as a girl who would be seen in her panties, and I don’t care if she is thirty years old now and an intern on the West Wing.
Jackie had a very long list on her blog with directions as follows:
1.) Copy this list into your blog.
2.) Bold what is true.
3.) Leave plain what is false.
4.) Add something at the end.
But it was too long and I didn’t feel like fessing up to a bunch of those things for all the internet to see, or the six of you, whichever the case may be, so I decided to start my own list.
1. I once won a lifetime subscription to TV Guide, and then it ran out.
2. I then resubscribed to TV Guide but finally cancelled my subscription, which is still recent enough as to be somewhat unsettling.
3. I am more interested in the mind of Kevin Federline than anyone other than Britney should admit to.
4. I would have to have a separate list for all the TV shows I watch that anyone other than Britney should admit to.
5. I am at least mildly bitter that so many celebrities are writing children’s books now, but
6. if I were a movie star, or related to a movie star, the likelihood is that I too would write children’s books, but all the same,
7. if Britney and Kevin write a children’s book my level of bitter will undoubtedly rise significantly above mildly to at least orange if not red.
8. I know what a bone folder is.
9. I get anxious pretty much every time I have to do a reading and wish someone else would do it for me.
10. Lately, I have been spending way too much time online.