Anthologies

I keep forgetting to mention that I have essays in two different anthologies that are out now:
One is called ”When I Was A Loser” which is pretty self-explanatory and most of you shouldn’t be surprised that I was invited to contribute. Tod Goldberg is included in this anthology as well, and his piece is so hilarious it’s worth the price for that alone.
The other one is called ”The Show I’ll Never Forget”, a collection of essays by writers on memorable rock concerts. In my case, Thisbe Nissen graciously bowed out to let me write about the same subject she would have, my first Billy Joel concert, which, arguably, could be placed in either anthology.

I Officially and Unashamedly Love Justin Timberake

For anyone who didn’t see it repeated on SNL last night... please enjoy the musical stylings of Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg singing the classic love song: Dick in a Box...

My favorite line: “Every single holiday!” Besides the list:

One... cut a hole in a box...
Two... nah, I can’t spoil it.

Restaurants Should Not Have A Big Lighted Sign.

I just find this inherently suspect. Chain restaurants are one thing, but those fancy ones? That’s not right.

FiveChapters.com

Hey, I have a story on fivechapters.com this week called What Happens When the Mipods Leave Their Milieu. If you haven’t already checked out the site, it’s got serialized stories each week from some a pretty awesome variety of authors, and I’m psyched to be included!

Yo, New York People

So my story “Ad” from ALL THIS HEAVENLY GLORY is going to be read at Symphony Space next Wednesday the 14th, Valentine’s Day, if you don’t have a date or if you do! I read this story at a reading exactly one time, because it has only one period, at the end, and it was not at all easy to read, even for the author, plus parts of it are embarrassingly autobiographical to read oneself, and so all the way around, bringing in a professional actor was a very good idea, I think, and I’m pretty stoked about it. Plus, you know, it’s NPR and shit. Come if you can!
Selected Shorts

I'm Wearing Two Pairs of Long Johns Indoors Today and I'm Not Hot

And we have a dog who likes to go outside frequently with no pairs of long johns.
I don't think much more needs to be said.

The Part Where I Drive Away Anyone Who’s Still Reading This Blog

IMG_2355
Originally uploaded by MrsBrandt.

Nine Reasons Why My Dog Is Awesome

1. His muzzle is soft and spotted. You have to kiss it all the time.
2. His eyes when he’s asleep are squinty and so cute like he has to work at sleeping.
3. He gives hugs.
4. His coat is like, six different colors. His top and spots are mostly black, his chest is white, other parts are gray, and several shades of brown show up in various places and various lights.
5. He has, as Ben says, a little bit of a hairdo. His head and ears are soft and downy, the rest of his coat is soft but a little more coarse, but along his backbone, it’s thick and wavy, and kind of looks like he styled it that way.
6. The tip of his black tail is white and fluffy like a very well used paintbrush.
7. When he sleeps, sometimes he curls up into a little ball with his tail under his chin.
8. Sometimes he sits up in Ben’s armchair and looks like a man.
9. He loves to play with other dogs, but sometimes in a group he gets cornered by the other dogs at the park – but he always breaks away and when he does he leaves them in the dust because he’s always the fastest dog in the park! He reminds me of this great story by Dave Eggers in the voice of a dog and the first line is like, Hooooooooo!!!! Hoooooooo!!!! I’m a fast dog!