Monday, January 22, 2007

Welcome to the Family!

Ben and I have a new housemate! We seem to finally have named him Percy, and he seems to be answering to it. Percy is a Catahoula Leopard Dog. Here are some photos of him on his Dogster (who knew, myspace for dogs) page from when he was named Rasputin. He’s a bit bigger now, but until we upload some new pix, this will give you a good idea of how pretty he is. He’s super sweet and chill. Originally, I told Ben I wanted a dog who would only make “this much” poop. (Picture me holding small imaginary handful of poop.) Percy’s poops are considerably larger. Ben’s not much into poop either, but now that he’s changed our nephew’s poopy diapers several times, he seems to have made the adjustment. After a walk the other day, I told Ben, “You know, with two bags and a glove, you can almost not feel the poop at all.” And he said, “It’s okay. I just left my hand.” I put that in there for the three of you who will think it’s as funny as I did.
And yes, I did just become that person.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Dear Jessica Rhode From American Idol Season Six Who I Really Hope Will Google Herself So She Reads This Even Though Googling Yourself Isn’t Always a

I am so, so sorry about the way things went for you on your tryout in front of your former idol Jewel, who I hope is not your idol anymore. Listen, I am going to tell you what those people should have told you:
1) Whether or not Jewel thought you were good, she should have been flattered and told you so.
2) There are way better singer songwriters than Jewel, like Shawn Colvin and Patty Griffin and Jonatha Brooke and a million other people.
3) You have a fine voice. Ir probably wasn’t the best idea to sing Jewel’s song exactly like Jewel, in front of Jewel (you may not have known she’d be there?), nevertheless, you sang in tune and you’ve got a good enough ear to be able to imitate someone well, which is not easy to do.
4) So, with that in mind, what you need is lessons from someone who will teach you to sing like yourself and maybe even write songs.
5) Then go back and kick their asses in Season Seven and when they say “You’re going to Hollywood,” say to them, “Psych!” and get the hell out of there and go make your own music.

Monday, January 08, 2007

I Can’t Seem To Let Go

Yes, I am still alive and well. I am still aware of Britney and Kevin and Tom and Katie and who all else. I’d like to say I haven’t blogged because I have been so very, very, importantly busy, but there has been some obsessive holiday painting by numbers in among the important busyness. I just haven’t blogged much for a while, for this reason or that, but I haven’t been able to commit to not blogging, either.

What’s new is that we had a great holiday with every last member of our family in Iowa, we had a great (low-key, sushi-oriented) New Year’s with Hensley-type people here, and I got lots of awesome CDs for xmas among other things.

I have been wanting to mention this one thing, however, so as of today I am still a blogger.

There is a fucked-up game show that comes on channel 50 at noon that is so intolerable that I can’t stay tuned long enough to understand much of anything about it except that it is very bright and very shouty. I think it’s a game show. I’m not really sure. All I know is that I stop short of having seizures when I’m channel-surfing past it. If anyone out there has seen this program and cares to explain, have at it. Don’t try to defend it though. Shows of any kind that are too shouty lose me every time. Which includes all shows about lawyers. Turning down the volume doesn’t work. I know they’re shouting.