Monday, July 11, 2005

I don't know what this means

We had out-of-town guests this weekend so my tv-watching was zero until last night when I saw a bit of America's Most Talented Kids. That it's on PAX and hosted by Dave Coulier should tell you something if the title doesn't. People with children, heed my advice; even if they really are the most talented in America (and I'm sure they are), please do not allow them to go on this show. I hesitate to slander the judges, who are also kids, but if you watch it yourself for even ten minutes, you will writhe with discomfort about ever having been American, Talented, a Kid, or the Most anything.

You know how they have titles underneath people on TV, describing their job, or something about them, when they're on the news, or a talk show or reality show or whatever?

Underneath this one girl it said: "Once got a standing ovation from Kirstie Alley."

If you think about this too long, it will become existential.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, I can only imagine...

Ken Foster said...

How about that pet talent show that Mario Lopez hosts on Animal Planet? I know its just pets, but really, the things the poor animals are forced to do just so they can be judged in front of "celebrity" judges. I'm sure I'd be both mortified and obsessed with the kid show if I ever had the dial on PAX. But I don't. Ever.

My dial basically consists of: Soap Opera Network (which has its own hideous train wreck of a reality show called I Want to Be a Soap Star); Animal Planet (which also features a horrifying show in which three households compete for custody of a stray dog); and HBO (home of my favorite fake reality show, The Comeback).

Anonymous said...

Eek, that sounds pretty bad.

Now, Ken, you've mentioned the Soap Opera Network before and I am realizing now that you're serious. So what I want to know is - what exactly do they show? Do they run old soap operas from time gone by? Or is it just a chance to catch whatever you missed that day - and if so, what would that be?

I once wanted to be a soap star.

Ken Foster said...

They run evening repeats of each day's episodes of Days of Our Lives, All My Children, One Life to Live and General Hospital, and then do five hour marathons on weekends.

From the past, they show Dynasty, Dallas, Knots Landing, 90210, Melrose Place, Another World, Ryan's Hope (which I LOVE), and Port Charles.

I'm a fan of the NYC based, PA-set ABC shows, as well as Ryan's Hope, which is so different from anything on today. Also, its good for having human voices for the dogs while I'm gone. And there' s no chance that the President will be cutting in with a press conference, which tends to make Brando hysterical.

Anonymous said...

I watched Ryan's Hope a little back in the day and that's the show I screen-tested for! And didn't get, of course, let's see why was it, oh right because I WAS A BAD ACTRESS.

I would LOVE to see Knot's Landing again. That show was awesome.