Thursday, July 28, 2005


I wrote an essay a while back for Todd Dills’ 2ndhand Reader: All Hands On , about one of the guys from the original Average Joe, which I think I’m going to have to revise. Watched the finale of the latest Average Joe and was shocked and pleased to see that the girl actually picked the Joe, Nathan, this time. Nathan’s chances seemed bleak – to begin with, she’d rejected him a few episodes earlier, and he was one of a few of the Joes who’d gotten makeovers who came back for a second chance. I figured he didn’t have much chance if she’d already rejected him, plus she obviously liked making out with the Rocky, aspiring model/actor way better, but Rocky was weak on conversation at best. They showed a lot of his long pauses to illustrate this and I have to admit I had some acid flashbacks (ok, I never did acid, I was just being dramatic) to excruciating dates of years past where the conversation did not flow. Anyhoo, so she picked the Average Joe but I was forced to imagine the discussion between her and the producers, because it really seemed like she was going to pick Rocky. “I’m really attracted to you,” she said breathily, with her “but” not really explaining anything much, leading me to fill in “but none of the other women have picked a Joe yet, and the producers really need a Joe to win this time.” And her speech to Nathan wasn’t much better. “I choose you to stay in Tahiti with me,” she said breathily again, “but I’m not making any promises. I just want to get to know you better and see what happens. The producers have promised me that I can still call Rocky if I change my mind. Just letting you know.”

I’m a romantic, I swear, but the odds of anyone meeting their soul mate on reality TV seem slim. Oh, except for Brigitte Nielsen and the guy with the clock, of course.


B said...

I love flava flaaaaaaaaav!

I think that romance was meant to was spelled in the stars...hollywood backdrop of a blockbuster movie of stars.

teodoro said...

Oh you GOTTA love Flav. Ask your husband, cause I saw him rap once and he'll know.

Yes, I saw Ben rap. Something about being insane in the membrane. That boy tore the house down.

Betsy said...

What? My husband raps? I'm going to get to the bottom of this.