Friday, July 22, 2005

Dear Kelly Preston

Um, actually, Mrs. Travolta, there are tests for mental illness, and I’m pretty sure the American Psychiatric Association will back me up on this. Can you pass the word on to Kirstie Alley and Dharma and that lady from JAG?

10 comments:

Teodoro Callate said...

As someone who is currently devoting a year of his life to learning to administer psychological and psychiatric assessments, I certainly hope that these assessments exist. Otherwise, my time at the VA will be one big fat waste of time and money. Since I've actually administered some of these tests, I feel pretty certain that they do, in fact, exist.

And I don't even touch neuropsych tests. That stuff is too smart for me. But they tell me that all sorts of assessments are tried-and-true, and since those people have PhD's after their signatures, I feel pretty good about feeling that they are telling me the truth about those things.

Betsy said...

I knew I could count on you to back me up on this, Ted.

B said...

Well, since I don't have any real mental health backround, I can help you by dissing her.

I wish she would stop doing commercials for body products.

Kelly, you have no career in the spotlight...go be a scientologist quietly in your seventy-five roomed mansion.
k?

kfoz said...

Apparently Cameron Crowe is a Scientologist as well, which explains Vanilla Sky and Kelly Preston being in Jerry McGuire.

Vanilla Sky--all about being properly programmed, but with none of the sinister implications of Open Your Eyes

Jerry McGuire--All about Tom Cruise saying "Let me...Help you!"

Betsy said...

Noooooooooooooo!!!! Say it isn't true! Cameron Crowe did Say Anything, one of my favorite movies of all time.

Daniel Ridges said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Daniel Ridges said...

"I gave her my heart; she gave me a pen."

Betsy said...

And of course, "Bitches, man," and "I want to get hurt!"

Jagged Lil Taint said...

I feel miserable
Timmy Stink Finger make me ill
I feel miserable
Bondage swings tear at my foundations
I feel miserable
Forgotten "safe words" are dragging me down to the depths of misery
I want to die

Is it because there is no restraint that I feel this way?
With the Goldbatt rays of Vera Wang misery pounding on my brain?
Am I lost in tale of e e taint, adrift far from home
I don't think so, I don't think so.


Felicity Broke My Hank Williams Illusion
Felicity Broke No Regard for Contusions
Felicity Broke my Summer Distraction
I was getting better but then
Felicity Broke My Decorative L'EGG

I feel miserable
Curious Tattooed Piercings rot the flesh from my bones
I feel miserable
Lame Chocolate Chip Cookies defeat my purpose
I feel miserable
BBQ'D Texans are doing their best to impale my soul
I want to die

Is it because there is no restraint that I feel this way?
With the K-Mart rays of Vera Wang misery pounding on my brain?
Am I lost in tale of e e taint, adrift far from home
I don't think so, I don't think so.

Felicity Broke Wind on my Sofa
Felicity Broke My Treaty with Paris
Oh my goodness gracious, Felicity Broke My Inherent Cognition
I was getting better but then
Felicity Broke My Deceit and Deception

Betsy said...

Felicity, are you a rock star? I think you should be.