Thursday, September 29, 2005

I Should Stick to Looking at the Pictures

I’m a magazine junkie, across the board. Highfalutin’, lowfalutin’, fashion, anything short of Dog Fancy. I have been tempted, on occasion, by Bead and Button Monthly. But as witnessed above, sometimes I make the mistake of reading things like the interview I mentioned yesterday. This time, I didn’t even make it as far as the actual interview before becoming horrified. The lead-in to an interview with Charlize Theron:

“The Oscar-winning actress… talks openly about turning 30…”

I absolve Ms. Theron of blame here, and I don’t know whether the author of the interview, Nancy Collins, or the editors at Bazaar, is responsible, in any case, huh, I wasn’t aware that turning 30 was something we could talk openly about. So thank god for Charlize! Now I can admit to the last fifteen years of my life as having… existed. Just in time, because I had a sneaking suspicion that people were beginning to guess I hadn’t really been 29 all these years. Sure, I might look 29, ish, in the right light, but even so, after a few years, people start to realize you’ve been saying 29 for kind of a while. Oh shit, wait, I may have made too big a leap here. Maybe it’s not cool to talk openly about being 40. Can somebody get in touch with Julianne Moore and let me know?


Daniel Ridges said...

Wait a minute. You're NOT 29? What the hell?!?!?!

On a different note: For exactly how long has Charlize Theron been keeping this nasty little secret inside? I thought she was pushing fifty.

I have enough trouble keeping track of which jersey (the white one is for home games, the blue one for away games. They play all their games on the same field, though. What the fuck?) to wash for my son's soccer games, let alone keeping track of the sliding scale Hollywood timelines.

Daniel Ridges said...

And, Betsy... I thought you had received free reign by Tommy Hilfiger, or someone important like that, to talk openly about everything?

Betsy said...

I know, can you believe it? I feel so free from the shackles of my lies now... I have trouble keeping track of whether Kiehl's lip balm is still in favor, so I feel ya. I only thank my lucky (movie) stars for keeping me straight.

megan said...

Kiehl's is still okay, but only the tinted kind.

B. E. Pinkham said...

Betsy! Charlize! Everybody! Today I am even more confident than ever that we're all beautiful, brilliant and talented--no matter how old we are--because I (who am a bit older than Ms. Crane) got carded lasted night! For Real! And there was no blanket carding order in effect! I'm telling everyone I know!