Monday, September 19, 2005

From the Department of: Come Again?

Renee Zellweger filed for divorce from country superstar Kenny Chesney, citing as her reason: fraud.
Er, wha?
I figured it out though. I heard a lawyer explain the meaning of the term “fraud” as used in something like this. It simply means that there was some information the claimant says they didn’t have before they got married and if they did, they wouldn’t have married them.
So let’s get this straight. This essentially means that Renee is saying that there was something she didn’t know about Kenny after knowing him for four whole months.

That’s the whole joke. I can’t think of a really good punchline. Somebody give me a punchline.


Teodoro Callate said...

Kenny: You complete me.
Renee: You had me at hello.
Kenny: Alright. I shoplifted the pooty. Sorry.
Renee: You had me at hello, but now I have to rescind the having of me at hello, as I was unaware that you had shoplifted my pooty, and I want it back, and so you no longer have me at hello, and my lawyer will now tell you why. Show me the money.

Not quite a pithy punch line, huh? This is why I'm not a professional comedy writer.

Betsy said...

No, no, T, that was perfect. "I shoplifted the pooty" and "I have to rescind the having me at hello" are genius.

megan said...

Today in Newsweek they said that her saying "fraud" is actually a really nice way of saying he couldn't get it up.

I'm paraphrasing, but you get my drift.

Betsy said...

The Chesneys Part 1
Kenny: Marry me. I can get it up.
Renee: Yes!
The Chesneys Part 2
Renee: That's not up.
The Chesneys Part 3
Renee: Kenny Chesney said he could get it up, but he couldn't.
Fancy Lawyer: That constitutes fraud!

This bit of humor was written at 6:56 am and therefore due to lack of the coffee completion cycle cannot be constituted as fraud.