Thursday, May 18, 2006

The Embers Have Not Only Died, They Got Severely Grossed Out On The Way

Okay, honestly, I don’t know who Brandon Davis really is except he’s turned up on Go Fug Yourself next to Mischa Barton/Lindsay Lohan/Ashlee Simpson/one of those and he has a stupid haircut and now he’s getting next to Paris Hilton and apparently she thinks it’s very funny to say unrepeatably, unforgivably graphically awful things about Lindsay Lohan, or anyone, and you know what, Stupid Haircut and Paris Hilton, you’re a couple of disgusting brats. And yes, I’m old. I’m almost ninety. And I’m pretty sure old people like me are also beyond funny to Stupid and Paris. One thing I can repeat is that Brandon said something about how he felt sorry for Lindsay Lohan because she probably only has like seven million dollars to her name and Paris found this hilarious I guess because seven million dollars is their monthly budget for like, dog shampoo or something, and so the point is I guess if Lindsay Lohan is to be both trashed and felt sorry for because she is so impoverished that her dog is suffering from improper shampooing, then I almost can’t even understand how Brandon Davis and Paris Hilton can even leave their houses here in America where seven million dollars is so far away from even being imaginary to most people that it must just be an intolerable life, really, for Brandon and Paris, being so rich and properly shampooed and having to look at the rest of us all the time. The pain must be so terrible that they have to laugh.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

yeah, that whole thing is just repulsive on so many levels . . . can't wait to discuss it with you in person!

Anonymous said...

Yay!
And for anyone who doubts me, Go Fug Yourself has a lovely photo of young oily mr davis today.

Anonymous said...

I should add that I didn't realize, when I wrote this, that Brandon Davis in fact, is so in need of even a bottle of Suave that I could fork over a buck for the cause.

Anonymous said...

yeah, you know who that brandon davis guy remids me of? every oily snotty character james spader's ever played. but mostly stef from pretty in pink. with a nasty, nasty foul mouth. TAKE THAT, mr. brandon davis!

Anonymous said...

Ha! Oooh, he was so awful in P in P.
And which brings me to another point - this is like high school, but in public.

Anonymous said...

it's kind of hysterical to watch that video of his tirade, because he's so vile that la lohan kind of comes off as virtuous by comparison.

Anonymous said...

Vile and drunk. I'm no less upset with Paris, for being so amused. She's like the most awful kind of popular girl. She's an awful popular girl with a publicist. Who goes out the next day and says bullshit like "clearly paris has her own opinions and does not condone mr davis' statements." Oh really? She was laughing and holding up her phone cuz why then?

Anonymous said...

she's just a non-entity to me, you know? i can't bring myself to care about her anymore. she's vapid and useless. she uses the "n" word. and not in a hip-hoppy sort of way, if you know what i mean. what a scary time to raise a little girl. yar.

can you imagine what would happen if brandon davis and paris hilton pooled their resources for good? if they spent that money and energy and those connections on africa? sheesh.

Anonymous said...

I feel so queasy right now, and I'd probably throw up if I didn't know that at least one little girl has a chance to make up the difference. Not that she should have to.
Yes... too bad it won't happen. I'm pretty sure they have no idea it's even there. Too busy thinking about Lindsay .

Anonymous said...

well, if we're thinking of the same little girl, i have it on good authority that she intends to be either:
° a horserider
° an "olympic two-wheeler bycicling champion"
° a doctor in kenya

i'm encouraging her to go for all three. so you're right, maybe there's still a chance.

Anonymous said...

If anyone could be a horseriding doctoring olympic two-wheeler bicycling champion in kenya, it's your kid.

Dean said...

Anything associated with Paris Hilton gives me the heebie-freekin'-jeebies. As in the genuine skincrawling shudders. I think she's nearly as repulsive a human being as walks the earth.

And I don't know who Mischa Barton is, and I only know of Lindsay Lohan because she, apparently, wandered around drunk with her cans hanging out while still under 18, which probably meant that I committed a crime by looking at pictures with her nipples in them.

I'm such a pop cult junkie. Can't you tell?

mernitman said...

Not that I want to feed your bad habit or anything, but I think you may enjoy our least favorite greasy rich boy thug being ripped a new one by Lindsay's #1 fan, live: http://us.video.aol.com/video.index.adp?mode=1&pmmsid=1651642

Anonymous said...

Oy. Sounds like fun but my dial-up doesn't give me a choice about whether or not to look. I'm more or less limited to text and pictures unless I feel like waiting six hours for a download.