Ruby

I hope Anne will post this on her own blog (and not kill me for posting it here) but in the meantime I had to beat her to the punch because... it's about me! The brief backstory is that I sewed the outfits for my bridal party, including a dress for Ruby, age 6 1/2, who was the flower girl. (Ok, the last bit isn't about me but I just wanted to show you the cool mind of Ruby Hensley.)


ruby has a concert at school today. last night she said, "i want to wear a most beautiful dress for my concert." i said ok and picked one out for her. she woke up this morning and wanted no part of the dress i picked out. i went through three more dresses before she said (in an exasperated tone, i might add) "i have to wear the one betsy made." and then she sighed. loudly. as if i were a complete dolt.

the night before last as she was drifting off to sleep she said, "if i'm really, really good in this life... (long pause) ... can i get a gift certificate
somewhere?"

and i said yes

A2

Back by popular demand, I'm reinstating the anonymity option. Play nice.

Smokey Links

The good people at Blogger have helped me put links on the side.

Good News, Bad News

The good news is I have a fantastic new book of stories to recommend called Simplify, by Tod Goldberg. The bad news is it doesn’t come out until September. The good news is that you can read Tod’s blog in the meantime, which is very entertaining. There’s no more bad news.

Things this book has in it:
a Jesus who hangs out at Gay Pride Parades and Toys R’ Us and Starbucks.
a bleeding portrait of Elvis
the Loch Ness monster

It’s also smart, funny, painful, heartelt, and overall awesome. If you want more than that from a book, I don’t know think I know you anymore.

I'm everywhere

I made New City's Lit 50 list again this year, slow and steadily rising, this year to #30.
And here's an interview with me on Bookslut. I feel very happening to be acknowledged by the litblogs now - I made Beatrice a while back too.

I swear to god, though, I have never said "da da da" in my life! I cop only to using the phrase "sort of" as often as I usually use "like" and "you know."

And a correction: that was me who got teased about the socks and maternity shirt, not Nina.

All I Want For Christmas

Is this t-shirt.
Adult small.

19 Things About Our New Nephew Asa That Are Excellent, In No Particular Order

1. insanely long eyelashes
2. huge brown eyes
3. cool parents
4. super tiny feet
5. tiny butt
6. shoulder dimples
7. smells almondy-babylicious
8. okay, everything
9. he’s related to us
10. shows early signs of tree-hugging
11. makes squeaky happy noises
12. interested in wind
13. rolls to one side almost brilliantly
14. very interested in Uncle Ben
15. Kung-fu grip
16. can almost stand, but chooses not to
17. enjoys drinking, sleeping, napping, and dozing off
18. lays hands on chest in cutest way ever while sleeping
19. he’s portable

Stuff

So a while back, Ben went to Home Depot and got a free subscription to Stuff magazine, which has been coming for many months now and aside from the sexy sexerson girls on the cover, this magazine’s target audience remains a mystery to me. I’m sure Ben’s guess would be that they live in what he calls “jock housing” in Lincoln Park or Wrigleyville and drink beer at the Cubby Bear, but I’m not convinced that anyone reading this publication is that evolved. My guesses get stumped after “male”, because aside from the plethora of lingerie-bedecked young women throughout, the “cultural” aspects of it have me baffled. There are very few bits that are longer than fifty words (as much as this demographic can handle in one pass?) and they tend to be about celebrities or trends I’ve never heard of, with the exception of Lindsay Lohan, who they seem to admire, which should tell you a lot but which only confuses me more or makes me think the target reader is about fourteen and rides a BMX bike? But that can’t be, because there’s also a photo spread of Winnie Cooper in her panties, and I don’t think that’s the right generation to want to see Winnie Cooper in her panties, plus, Winnie Cooper should not ever be thought of as a girl who would be seen in her panties, and I don’t care if she is thirty years old now and an intern on the West Wing.

Jackie had a very long list on her blog with directions as follows:
1.) Copy this list into your blog.
2.) Bold what is true.
3.) Leave plain what is false.
4.) Add something at the end.

But it was too long and I didn’t feel like fessing up to a bunch of those things for all the internet to see, or the six of you, whichever the case may be, so I decided to start my own list.


1. I once won a lifetime subscription to TV Guide, and then it ran out.
2. I then resubscribed to TV Guide but finally cancelled my subscription, which is still recent enough as to be somewhat unsettling.
3. I am more interested in the mind of Kevin Federline than anyone other than Britney should admit to.
4. I would have to have a separate list for all the TV shows I watch that anyone other than Britney should admit to.
5. I am at least mildly bitter that so many celebrities are writing children’s books now, but
6. if I were a movie star, or related to a movie star, the likelihood is that I too would write children’s books, but all the same,
7. if Britney and Kevin write a children’s book my level of bitter will undoubtedly rise significantly above mildly to at least orange if not red.
8. I know what a bone folder is.
9. I get anxious pretty much every time I have to do a reading and wish someone else would do it for me.
10. Lately, I have been spending way too much time online.

Drive-By

Sometimes if I’m in the neighborhood I’ll drive by my old apartment. I’m not sure if it’s possible to stalk your old life, or if this is what I’m doing, but I do have the sense that if I keep my eye on that location periodically that I’ll make some important discovery about something. When that happens I’ll let you know. In the meantime, I did not discover much of anything except that I have fond memories of my eight years over there, and that I am so happy right where I am, which are not so much discoveries as they are things I already knew. Someone told me and Ben that we hit the apartment lottery and I really think we did. I think I hit the husband lottery too. Yesterday afternoon we were lying in the hammock and Ben was just like, Wow, I really don’t think there’s a better place anywhere than this and I was just like Amen and then we were both just like, If you want to have time lose all meaning in the best possible way, get yourself a hammock.

Bird Art

I learned a new word on Nova the other night. A bower is a display made by a male bird, of any number of species, intended to attract the female bird. They are usually on the ground, most often made of groups of things in one color, and they often make a little entryway out of twigs. Some birds collected berries all in one color, some collected bones. They tend to be in flat arrangements, not piles, and have also been made of beetle casings, blossoms, trash (still artfully arranged), and leaves. (However, at least one bird is very particular about his arrangement, and if you turn a leaf face down he will return and turn it back face up.) The birds have to be vigilant about their bowers or other birds will pillage. And if the bower is not as successful, they may have to go as far as displaying the tops of their colorful heads to the female to do the trick. Other, more colorful birds, make less impressive bowers because they themselves are colorful enough. The bowers are like bird art installations; very Andy Goldsworthy, although now that I’ve seen this I realize it’s clearly the other way around. Once again proving that we are not so different from our bird kin.