Friday, February 25, 2005

No, Really

I guess I'm just asking what marriage is because my brief experience of it has just been so great that I'm not really even sure I know what it means yet. I get the commitment part. I guess I just meant it in more of either a - conceptual, or a personal way, what it means to whoever. Because what I'm getting is, probably duh on this, but that it's completely defined by whatever two people you're talking about. But I also hear about how much you have to work at it, and I don't feel like we've worked very hard at it at all but that it's still working. So I guess what I'm asking is, is this like, not so much a honeymoon period, but a little, well, okay, you know, my whole thing is that whenever I'm happy, I naturally assume I'm in denial. But I don't want to be in denial right now, I want to really be happy, and I think I might be really happy, unless of course I'm in denial.

5 comments:

hutchie said...

(what the hell do i know about it but) i think you are really happy. but you're in denial if you say don't work at it. i've SEEN you work at it. and you will continue to work at it. it's just one of those jobs you actually love a lot, as opposed to, like, a temporary telemarketing gig for a contracting firm or something.

bc said...

Hutchie, that is SUCH a brilliant way to look at it. It's a fantastic job. It's just like my real job(s), which I do indeed work at, and fully enjoy.

DAM said...

I think the words associated with marriage give marriage a really bum rap...settling down. Settling implies that you didn't get what you wanted. "I really wanted to be with "A" but he didn't want me. "C" was just not my kind of guy, though very nice. Guess I'll go with "B." Though I'm not married, I'd hate to think I'll ever settle. (Never gonna' happen.)

Down? Need I say more.

Working at a marriage...I think we (un)wittingly work at anything we care about and/or invest ourselves in. I think hutchie hit the nail on the head. You don't think of it as work when you enjoy it. Working at something is different than laboring. Or is that just semantics?

Mrs.B. said...

Very true, DAM, marriage gets a bad rap in a lot of ways, word-wise, and just in general. And I agree, working in this sense, to me, is very different than laboring. It's work I'm happy to do with someone who's amazingly willing to do it.

TW Job said...

Ok Bets--I am new to this whole blogging thing but, as you know, not new to the whole marriage thing (though it feels like it was yesterday :-)). My guess is you are working at it, pretty hard in fact. But since you don't know you are working at it, your work is obviously very effective. The best kind of work. Me, well I have been in that line of work so long, I can do it with great ease. Either that, or David is a saint!