Monday, March 26, 2007

I Have Some Questions I'd Like Answered

Why does everyone say relationships are so hard? Do you think relationships are hard?

If so, why?

If not, why not?

And: if I don't think relationships are hard, am I in denial?

Or: Am I asking the wrong question?

11 comments:

Susan said...

I find relationships, and especially marriage, dead easy. The person who gives me constant trouble is me.

ed said...

They can be hard. They can be easy. It really depends upon the two parties. I have been in very hard and very easy relationships and they have ended. I am now in a relatively "easy" one and am extremely lucky and blessed and very happy, and regularly wonder what I did to deserve such good fortune. I simply try to remain as humble and communicative as I can. Perhaps those who find relationships "easy" have a temperament in which they must continue. Or maybe it's a kind of compatibility that occurs no more than three times in one's lifetime.

carolyn said...

if you are actually in a relationship, it might not be hard...

lb said...

I don't know who ed is, but I like him (her?):

"I simply try to remain as humble and communicative as I can."

Nothing simple about that. But damn, ed; good game plan.

chach said...

i sometimes feel guilty about things being easy and enjoyable when people ask,"how's married life?" reflexively, i'll offer unintelligible sounds, meaningless phrases like, "you know," just to spare their feelings, to avoid gloating. i'll grunt anything just as long as i don't have to admit that things are going really well. and this defense comes from experience: the times i've volunteered, "it's a lot easier than i would have thought," people always say, "oh, that will wear off" and start telling me to take up golf and hand me accessory catalogs, which is annoying, and does nothing more than confirm my initial suspicion, that admitting the truth about being happy and content with my life would be a mistake. except when the topic comes up in conversations with similarly happy and content individuals. yeah.

Jonny Mess said...

I think it's hard until it's not hard, if that makes sense.

teo said...

i think that when it's easy it's the easiest, and when it's hard you want to die, but only because you know how easy it should/can/will be again, and maybe the trick is after a while you figure out how to cut out the middle step. which is kinda what johnny mess said.

Anonymous said...

easy to start, hard to keep going. especially if you're not a 'people person' and need space, but don't want to be totally permanently alone cause that would be depressing.

Donny B said...

Like others have said, it depends on the people involved, but it's easy if both people want it to be easy.

Some people want the drama, want it to be hard, because that's the way they think it should be or that's the way they've seen it on TV or because they're constantly testing the other person or something. I think some people have pre-conceived notions of how relationships or that special person are supposed to be and don't want to accommodate anything that doesn't fit that notion.

But yeah, they can be really easy.

Betsy said...

Well this is all very helpful, very helpful indeed. Thank you all for your thoughts. More soon.

Hypatia 370 said...

Door #4: You're asking the wrong question. Relationships are dynamic, so by definition they'll wax and wane. Maybe a more revealing question might be what makes a relationship work well? BTW, what prompted your asking?