Cover Your Knees

Here’s something I had forgotten about until yesterday. About – eleven years ago or so, I went on a trip to London and Paris with my stepmom and her sister, and my sister. It was a great time, tons of laughs, and frankly I think we’re long overdue for another girl trip. Anyway, it was about our first day or so in London, I know I was very very tired from jet lag, and we were on a bus and I was wearing ripped jeans, which I was fond of at the time definitely for reasons, I’m sure I had them then, these reasons, they may have been style-related, although that seems dubious now, so really, I can’t say for sure what these reasons were anymore. Nevertheless, these jeans prevented me and my family from entering Harrod’s, apparently if my reasons were style-based, Harrod’s and I did not see eye to eye in this regard. So we’re on a bus, leaving Harrod’s to go somewhere else, and this strange old lady sits down next to me, as I recall her own style choices were a bit of a mystery, I seem to remember layers and shrouds and possibly bags or other accoutrements, and this lady, in an almost entirely unplaceable accent except that it was very clearly not anywhere in Great Britain, puts her finger through the hole in my jeans onto my knee and says, in a strong, belivable tone, “You should have shaaaame!” (Voice rising on second half of shaaaame.) Followed by an ominous prophecy, “No man will marry you!” I nearly burst into tears on the spot. It seemed less an opinion than a curse, and I was tired and already had a preexisting condition of fearing that no man would marry me. In following years, I became less concerned about getting married and more concerned that no good man would come into my life at all, but as I said I’d forgotten this until yesterday. At which time I also remembered that I’ve been married for two years. So either the spell has been lifted, or I was never cursed in the first place. Or, I started wearing newer jeans. Of course. I should have known all along why Ben picked me. Because my knees were covered.