The Continuing Appeal of Paris Hilton, Age 48

“Okay, like, I totally know that last Botox injection probably wasn’t so hot, but I ask you to, you know, consider my overall hotness because seriously, I’m still a size zero, I like, totally did not lie in my last memoir, My First Six Fiancees, and oh yeah, I’m still hot and you have to admire me for forgiving Nicole Richie back in ’23, because not everyone would do that after what she did.”