On The Weirdness of Plans

Hey kids! I have a new piece up on Writer’s Block Party, check it out.

Look What I Can Do!

I can add a picture from the web!


Fine, so you've all been doing this all along. Nobody said I was a fast learner. Ever.
This is a photo by the artist Loretta Lux who I've been loving for a while.

Me on Litpark!

Hey again! Check out the interview with me on litpark today. It’s got pictures too!

My Nervous Breakdown Debut

Hey kids, I’ve been invited to contribute to The Nervous Breakdown, and my first post is up today. It’s got pictures and everything!

Loser Contest at Maud Newton

Maud Newton has posted proof of the qualificactions of the contributors of the Loser anthology on her site, in the form of photographic evidence. Match the author/loser to their name/excerpt and the winner takes a signed copy of the book plus a Dr. Who iron-on, and frankly, I’m not sure who wouldn’t want a chance at that. My senior yearbook photo is there, and I’m tempted to give a hint, but I’ll leave it to y’all to even the odds.
I feel so totally People Magazine Before They Were Stars!

Welcome Litpark Refugees

Ok, so I figure if you’re here, I’m not alone in my litpark-missing unsteadiness, and I’ll move right on to the question:
How is everyone getting along without a little litpark in their morning coffee?
Personally, I feel like – I have to have a little something internet-related to obsess about in the morning that doesn’t leave me feeling sucked into a vacuum of nothingness, which means if I’m not obsessively checking the comments section of litpark, it’s an hour of looking at gawker and myspace pages when I should have been, oh, I dunno, reading the fifteen stories I need to read before Wednesday.

Attention Writers (and readers)

Another one of my many new BFFs courtesy of myspace (Nina! SBFFI! Supreme BFF Infinity! Not to ever worry!) is a writer named Susan Henderson, the only woman I can think of who's got over a thousand myspace friends that I suspect she is actually friends with. (Much as I'd like to think I'm actually friends with Bill Murray, well, I'm not sure Bill Murray thinks so.) Sue is a real champ for writers and started a website called litpark where she interviews writers and artists, but also really promotes interesting, thoughtful discussions so you should check it out. She's interviewed me for the week of March 12, but you should just jump in now and stick around for a while.

Cover Your Knees

Here’s something I had forgotten about until yesterday. About – eleven years ago or so, I went on a trip to London and Paris with my stepmom and her sister, and my sister. It was a great time, tons of laughs, and frankly I think we’re long overdue for another girl trip. Anyway, it was about our first day or so in London, I know I was very very tired from jet lag, and we were on a bus and I was wearing ripped jeans, which I was fond of at the time definitely for reasons, I’m sure I had them then, these reasons, they may have been style-related, although that seems dubious now, so really, I can’t say for sure what these reasons were anymore. Nevertheless, these jeans prevented me and my family from entering Harrod’s, apparently if my reasons were style-based, Harrod’s and I did not see eye to eye in this regard. So we’re on a bus, leaving Harrod’s to go somewhere else, and this strange old lady sits down next to me, as I recall her own style choices were a bit of a mystery, I seem to remember layers and shrouds and possibly bags or other accoutrements, and this lady, in an almost entirely unplaceable accent except that it was very clearly not anywhere in Great Britain, puts her finger through the hole in my jeans onto my knee and says, in a strong, belivable tone, “You should have shaaaame!” (Voice rising on second half of shaaaame.) Followed by an ominous prophecy, “No man will marry you!” I nearly burst into tears on the spot. It seemed less an opinion than a curse, and I was tired and already had a preexisting condition of fearing that no man would marry me. In following years, I became less concerned about getting married and more concerned that no good man would come into my life at all, but as I said I’d forgotten this until yesterday. At which time I also remembered that I’ve been married for two years. So either the spell has been lifted, or I was never cursed in the first place. Or, I started wearing newer jeans. Of course. I should have known all along why Ben picked me. Because my knees were covered.

Anthologies

I keep forgetting to mention that I have essays in two different anthologies that are out now:
One is called ”When I Was A Loser” which is pretty self-explanatory and most of you shouldn’t be surprised that I was invited to contribute. Tod Goldberg is included in this anthology as well, and his piece is so hilarious it’s worth the price for that alone.
The other one is called ”The Show I’ll Never Forget”, a collection of essays by writers on memorable rock concerts. In my case, Thisbe Nissen graciously bowed out to let me write about the same subject she would have, my first Billy Joel concert, which, arguably, could be placed in either anthology.

I Officially and Unashamedly Love Justin Timberake

For anyone who didn’t see it repeated on SNL last night... please enjoy the musical stylings of Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg singing the classic love song: Dick in a Box...

My favorite line: “Every single holiday!” Besides the list:

One... cut a hole in a box...
Two... nah, I can’t spoil it.